Monday, July 12, 2010

Billy's employment notice for office manager

Billy is currently looking to hire an office manager at Higher Ground Learning.  He put out an ad on Craigslist that originally said this:

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Higher Ground Learning seeks a qualified and dynamic Office Manager dedicated to youth development, mentoring, and academic achievement. Keep reading for the fine print.


About Higher Ground Learning: 
Higher Ground Learning is a creative tutoring center located in downtown Salt Lake City. We specialize in innovative and experiential curricula, giving each student a chance to explore his or her interests, develop life skills, and experience the passion of learning. Higher Ground offers individualized tutoring and instruction in all K-12 subjects, ACT/SAT preparation, study skills courses, art programs, and a variety of creative workshops for youth. 


Organizational Objectives: 
• The needs of the student drive the design of the curriculum 
• We educate the whole student. We embrace progression, evolution, and creation as necessary elements of academic and personal growth 
• We inspire the activation of curiosity--the formation of opinions, observations, and unique voices 
• Through experiential learning, we encourage students to discover and appreciate the connections between academics and "real life" 
• We help students form critical learning traits (problem solving, independent thinking, grasping complex concepts, organizational skills, and confidence building) 
• We provide students with positive interaction with quality mentors and educators 

Job Description: 
The Office Manager’s role is to be an organized, efficient, and friendly presence for clients who come into contact with Higher Ground. The Office Manager is responsible for maintaining employee schedules, answering phone calls and providing information to callers, and managing the customer database. In addition, the Office Manager will have a role in keeping class rolls/registration, finances, and marketing. 

Qualifications/Requirements: 
• Bachelors Degree preferred 
• Organizational skills and personable, friendly, and professional demeanor 
• Patience, motivation, attention to detail, problem-solving, and customer service skills 
• Ability to effectively articulate and positively portray the company’s programs and mission to potential clients 
• Prior experience with accounting and database software 
• Excellent professional writing and presentation skills and proficiency in all Microsoft Office applications is required. Proficiency in page layout/design software desired but not required 
• Experience working in an equivalent environment, preferably within youth development or an educational framework 
• Ability to work in a highly collaborative, fast-paced environment necessitating qualities such as cultural awareness, integrity, humor, and team-building 

Responsibilities: 
• Manage day-to-day administrative functions (including scheduling consultations and managing employee schedules and client appointments) 
• Answer telephone calls and provide information to clients and prospective clients 
• Database management and filing 
• Providing support to tutors/teachers for classes and managing class registration 
• Marketing and networking with area school counselors 
• Support the fulfillment of the Higher Ground Learning philosophy 

Compensation: 
Full-time hourly wage that is competitive and commensurate with experience. Partial benefits included. 

How to Apply: 
No phone calls please. Please email/mail resume, references and cover letter to: 

Higher Ground Learning 
Attn: Billy Thomas, Executive Director 
380 West Pierpont Avenue 
Salt Lake City, Utah 84101 
Email: info@highergroundlearning.com 

Visit our website at: www.highergroundlearning.com for further information. 
Higher Ground Learning is an Equal Opportunity Employer.


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However,  the applicants he got were all really kind of boring, big office management types.  The types who know Quickbooks inside and out but who could care less about working for a great, small company and care more about a paycheck.  Seriously, he got like 60 inquiries about the job.  More than a handful of them used the EXACT SAME cover letter template.  :)  

Anyhow, we weren't getting the type of people we want to work at Higher Ground.  So, for the second round, Billy added this to the beginning of the employment ad:

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Are you looking to find a job where most of the people around you aren’t lame? 

Are you a cool person, but, you know, not too cool?  Do you think a high school student would think that you were cool?

Are you a recent college graduate who majored in something esoteric like humanities, social science, or art and now you need a job?  Have you recently come to terms with the idea that you might not find a job as a philosopher or an ice-sculptor but you still want to do something that is at least sort of rad? 

Are you the type of person that can use the words “esoteric” and “rad” in adjacent sentences?  What about the word “adjacent”? 

Do you value education?  Can you talk about the ACT or SAT without shivering and mentioning how poorly you did on it? 

In general, can you speak to adults articulately? 

Do lots of people like you, no matter what you do?  Are you good at telling jokes?

Do you want to work for a growing local company that helps students succeed? 

Are you comfortable making enough money to pay your bills and do a few other things, but probably not enough to save up for a trip to New Zealand (this year)?  Do you understand that we’re talking about $11-$13 per hour? 

Would you like half of your health insurance paid for? 

Would you be okay working in a job where people will sometimes view you as a secretary and you’ll have to do lame stuff like watering some plants, but where you’ll also get to work on cool stuff like marketing and curriculum design?

Do you have the ability to keep track of a bunch of things at once?  This is an important one.

Are you organized and clean?  A good test of this is to count how many old fast food containers you have in your car.  Is it zero?

Do you ride a bike?  Riding a bike is a cool way to get to work. 

Do you have tangible skills, like the ability to work with Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, and Microsoft Office?  Do you realize that Excel is a part of Microsoft Office? 

If you answered yes to most of the above questions, then maybe we have a job for you.  Please submit a resume and cover letter that contains a compelling reason for us to want to talk to you.  Please do not use a cover letter template or say that you’re passionate about something that you’re not truly passionate about.  


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He's such a great boss and everyone (I think) loves to work for him.  He's super focused and passionate and is a great ass kisser to all of the parents.  I mean, you should see him finesse those super uptight, anal, high-maintenance parents into doing what he thinks should be done.  It's really a fine skill.  


Anyhow, he cracks me up and I thought this could bring a little bit of laughter into your day (night, whatever). 
 

4 comments:

  1. I want that job. My plants are properly watered, and I did fine on SAT, ACT and GRE...might not seem cool to high school kids though!

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  2. If you did, we'd try to make HGL a baby-friendly environment. Too bad we can't afford you :)

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  3. I love this! Diddo Christy's comments.

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  4. Here is our top applicant so far...

    To Mr. Billy,

    My name is Nick Fox. I'm interested and amused at your job posting on craigslist. I am a 26 year old male from Vermont married with a 1 year old boy. I worked as an office manager for about 3 years with an international railroad company in Salt Lake on Beck St near that strip club. As an entry level job at first, I showed my ability to complete any task and ended up as office manager with 1 year. For this I was rewarded by being laid off with no warning and virtually no reason in November of 2009. As such, I am looking for work, and not with a very large corporation that does more harm than good. I've had enough of that.

    Now before we get to how rad of a dude I am I would like to say that I do not have a college degree. This has been a major problem in a number of office positions WHICH FOR SOME REASON DEMAND A COLLEGE DEGREE. Your position I can actually see why you sort of ask for one. But I mean you could just say smart guy right, why can't you just say smart guy?

    Kids of all ages think I'm cool because I am cool. I get along very well with kids, I used to coach a tennis class for Layton City Recreation. I understand the importance of education, certainly since being unemployed. I did very well on the ACT including a 32 in math despite not having a calculator. You'll notice if you look at my resume, my wide variety of jobs that I have performed. In order, I've been a tennis coach, waiter, state of Utah typist, law firm typist, and office manager for a railroad company. This is because of my ability to get along with a lot of different personality types.

    I think you can pay for all of my health insurance. Marketing isn't cool, watering plants is. I'm obsessively clean and organized. Riding a bike 20 miles to work is going to be a huge pain. I can use any computer program ever created. Trips to New Zealand went out the window when I had a kid. I'll serve as proof as to why kids should get education, teach them to enjoy classical music, and how to hit a topspin forehand cross court.

    I have attached my resume and a letter I wrote to Miley Cyrus upon reading an article regarding her boyfriend under the pseudonym Ian. Now it is time for me to go back to reading Gravity's Rainbow and listening to Shostakovich's string quartet 8.

    Thanks,

    Nicholas Fox

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