The Love Drug

A few years ago, if someone would have said "oxytocin" to me in conversation, I would have immediately conjured up these faces:

Jack Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne's son

Lindsey Lohan

Nicole Richie

All of these people were scandalously using oxycontin (which, in conversations, I'd confuse for oxytocin).  For those of you who are as clueless as I was, oxycontin is a synthetic opioid used for relief of pain.  It is used by many as a recreational drug and has caused the deaths of more than a few young users.  Oxytocin, on the other hand, is a hormone that mammals make in their brains and has roles in orgasm, sexual activity, birth, breastfeeding, and pair bonding.  That's why it's called the hormone of love.

 

 Oxtyocin at work here...

And here.

Sweet, right?

I'm currently reading a book by Dr. Sarah Buckley called Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering.  I've been reading a lot while on vacation about labor, birthing, green living, and raising kids in a nurturing, supportive way.  I'm a huge proponent of natural labor and have been liking more and more the wonderful views of attachment parenting (more on that a bit later).  The chapter I'm currently reading is called "Undisturbed Birth" and focuses on the advantages of having an unmedicated, uninterrupted birthing experience.  It was in this chapter that I started reading about the evolutionary connection between mother and baby and how hormones have helped to ensure the survival of our species.  One hormone in particular is this beauty:

  Oxytocin

Oxytocin is released in waves during labor (it's the hormone that actually makes your uterus start to contract).  The baby also releases a small amount of oxytocin during labor, signaling to your uterus that s/he is ready to go.  Immediately after birth, the cascade of hormones continues, engulfing you in the "lovey dovey" feelings you get, which are enhanced by skin-to-skin and eye-to-eye contact.  Breastfeeding also releases oxytocin to your bloodstream, which allows you to fall ever more in love with your baby.  Oxytocin exposure of the baby during labor also stimulates the olfactory nerves.  This makes the baby really like the smell of amniotic fluid (don't know why...I always felt that amniotic fluid would smell like pee) and their mother's breast, especially the nipple, which helps them locate it even with their eyes closed.  Awesome, right?  I mean, there's some guys out there that can only barely do better.

Here's a confession: it's been really difficult for me to be completely happy throughout this pregnancy; I am NOT the Pregnant Goddess that every woman wants to be who swears that being pregnant is the best thing that's ever happened to her.  The truth is, I really hate lots of things about being pregnant, like not being able to sleep on my stomach.  Sleeping on my side really hurts my hips and, having not seen my chiropractor in ages, my back is starting to hurt again.  All of this puts me in a dreadful mood and I have to consciously force myself to smile and remember that I CHOSE TO DO THIS and that it will all be over soon.  Even Little Nacho's rolls, kicks, and punches are becoming less and less exciting to me.  

However, as I read that chapter, I realized how amazing is the bond that I have with my baby.  I'm excited to have that rush of the love hormone to catapult me into the throes of infatuation as it did when I fell in love with Billy.  I'm excited to love someone so purely and so completely; it's only happened once in my life and I'm looking forward to it happening again with Nacho.  

I love you, little guy.  I'm sorry that sometimes I push you back when you kick and I sometimes blame you because I can't even see my own in-betweens and when I can't bend down to shave my legs and have to have your dad do it for me.  I'm really excited to see you, smell you, and hold you and you're worth every night of shitty sleep and every ache in my back that I've had so far.  I'm putting this in writing so that you know it's true even if I take it all back during labor.