What it feels like...

to carry around a 3-4 lb parasitic being in my abdominal cavity:

 Not these kinds...

This kind.  Seriously, even though the uterus is outside of the woman's body and there's blood and pink organs split open, the fact that Nacho has a teeny tiny little arm just like that just blows my mind. 

It's weird.  Like, really weird.  I think I was OK when the baby movements felt like gas, but now this is a whole different game.  Sometimes, Nacho pushes/kicks/rolls so hard that it makes my breasts bounce.  Honestly.

Nacho likes it when I'm up and moving around.  It makes him very uncomfortable (I'm guessing) when I sit down, possibly because my abdominal area isn't as stretched out as it is when I'm standing.  My uterus is currently (when I sit) almost all the way up to my breastbone.  I'm not joking.  So, when Nacho starts moving around and kicking (since his feet are up towards my head), he's kicking right underneath my boobs and into my ribs.

At night, he also likes to roll around a lot.  I sleep mostly on my left side (sometimes on my right, even though they say not to because the weight of the baby on the vena cava restricts blood flow to him).  I can't even lie down for 15 seconds on my back or I start to get dizzy. Anyhow, at night, he likes to roll around and I could feel him rub up against my ribs.  It's the weirdest sensation ever.  Imagine (everyone except Jennifer should imagine this) rubbing your wet hand on the underside of a rack of ribs.  That's the only way I can explain how it feels.

I can't do shoes with laces anymore or shoes that I have to manually put on.  This is me the last time trying to put them on in the morning:

 

Yes, my head is on the bed to give me balance and some leverage while I put those suckers on.  I've been living in flip flops, easy-slide on sandals, and my toms. 

I'm growing more and more hair on my stomach and, lucky me, because of my darker complexion, they're black.  They also grow up from my stomach and have been making their way to my cleavage.  It's really quite lovely :(  I sincerely hope this is only temporary.  I don't want to be the kind of girl who has to shave her stomach. 

My hips have grown a total of 4 inches so far, which means that if I even wanted to try to put on some of my old underpants or a skirt that used to be a bit-too-big on me, they won't even go over my thighs.  My butt has grown, too, although I think this may be more of a case of the addition of fat instead of the (somewhat wishful) thinking that my hips literally grew sans fat so that i could prepare to give birth and provide Nacho with enough access to the outside.  The upside?  I've got a substantial butt now...something that I've never ever really had before. 

When I sit down too much, my feet and ankles swell, but not as much as on other pregnant women I've seen.  It hardly ever happens to me (knock on wood).  Maybe I'm dehydrated. 

I'm not as boogery as I was before and I haven't had anymore bloody noses.  I am peeing a lot more often, but I feel that this time, unlike before, my bladder actually holds more urine!  So, when I go to the bathroom, I actually feel a sense of accomplishment when I pee instead of a sense of impending doom because I fear that I didn't void my bladder completely.

I've felt Nacho having the hiccups only twice so far, but it's the cutest thing.  It's a very rhythmic movement and it's quite subtle compared to everything else he does.  It makes me wonder how in the world he can even hiccup.  I mean, don't you need air for that?  I guess a diaphragm spasm doesn't necessitate air...

Everybody who sees me tells me that they feel so sorry that I'm pregnant right now (during the summer months).  At first (all through June) I was like, what the eff is the big deal?  But now I am finally understanding the hellhole that is being pregnant in July in the desert.  Last night, I couldn't sleep because the heat augmented the uncomfortably pregnant factor by 5 times.  I am starting to understand why some pregnant women are so anxious to have their baby (and some who actually break down in tears when they're days past their due date).

Sorry for the Debbie Downer of a post.  The next post will be something wonderfully uplifting.