Way hands-off parenting

I'd like to think that I'm a pretty laid back parent.  Sure, I get stressed out a lot about my lack of sleep or Desmond's eating habits, but for the most part, he does a lot on his own.  Unless there's a concern for his safety, I'm not hovering around my child like a gnat (not that mothers that do are gnats...they have a different name for that: helicopters), which can also be explained by my limited patience for playing with Desmond and his toys or playing on the playground equipment, unfortunately.  I do like to provide him with the tools (toys, leaves, washable crayons, food, dirt, whatever...) and let his little budding imagination take over.  Unless what he's doing is going to make a horrible mess (like letting him take the top off his sippy cup and put the bendy straw in...big mistake), I usually let him try things on his own so that he could figure out how things work without me telling him how to do it.  It's one of the things that I feel that Bill is really good at and I'm really bad at: he will sit there and try to fix things and make them work, whereas I'm all for calling the landlord, plumber, drycleaner, Billy, my mom...to make it better.  Billy also tends to be the more present parent.  He's able to give Desmond 100% of his attention and sit there and play with him and be present for him for hours.  I don't know how he does it, but I'm trying to learn.  Putting that on my continuing education list of to-dos.

So, how has all of this manifested in Desmond?  Well, there are some pros.  He knows his limits, as in, he'll try to go down the last stair in a staircase the adult way and end up falling (under my supervision) and realizes that his legs are way too stubby to step down that step gracefully, so he'll stand there and wait for me to hold out my hand so he could do it the adult way.  He is very aware of his surroundings...everybody is always remarking about our glass coffee table (ooooh, isn't that kind of dangerous, having a baby around?  Or, ooooh, you forgot to babyproof that!) but he knows that it's there, he knows that it hurts to bump your head, so he gives himself a wide berth from it when he plays.  It's awesome. Also, although I don't think he's to the point where he's imagining much when he plays, he does usually play by himself and usually only engages me when he's trying to figure out how something works or when he wants me to read to him.

The cons, he currently has 4 scars on his face from falling on different things, some requiring trips to the hospital, and some we took care of at home (and let me tell you, the sight of bright red blood pulsating all over Desmond's sweet face is enough to make me want to crouch in the corner and cry, but something snaps within me and I stop thinking and my mind stops processing any external stimuli besides the wound and making sure my baby is OK.)

The last incident, for which we spent an entire afternoon at the Children's Hospital here in St. Louis, Desmond fell onto Bill's metal hand weights.  He almost required stitches, but thankfully, they only gave him some skin glue.

On our way to the hospital.  When Billy picked Des up from the floor, he immediately pressed him to his chest to comfort him.  When he pulled Desmond's face away, he was bleeding profusely all over Billy's shirt and face.  I couldn't tell if he was bleeding just from his forehead or anywhere else.  I thought he had for sure lost some of his teeth!  I automatically went into robot mode and took Des, put his face under cold running water and saw where the wound was.  I took a clean dish towel and pressed it to his forehead and checked the wound again to see how bad it was.  It was pretty gash-y, so we decided better be safe than sorry...

Once we made it to triage, the nurse put some lidocaine on the wound and put a clear plastic bandage on it.  Desmond kept poking at it and the nurse said it was ok, since that would push the anesthetic into the wound.

Des was having the time of his life at the hospital.  There was a TV with cartoons and a big tank full of fish.  He loved running around.

Look at Billy's shirt.  We subsequently used it for his Halloween costume.  I think that this is the cutest picture of Desmond.  I mean, look at how cute that baby hospital gown is...and the way his socks are all scrunched down...

So, maybe I've a bit to learn about keeping my child from more bodily harm from those helicopter moms...seriously, I'm dreading the hospital bill we're going to receive any day now.  In the meantime, I'll keep letting him run around and slide down the fastest slide on the playground...if it means a skinned knee or a small head wound, I'm ok with that.  Kid needs to know that the only way to fail is to fail hard, learn from it, and keep going.  Hopefully he'll be able to teach his mama the very same thing, too.