Posts
With my daddy in El Eje Cafetero (the Coffee District) in Colombia
Anyhow, this last month has been rather taxing. I've stopped working at my cubicle up at the U for several reasons: there are two girls who are working with me on a project and the phone for the project and the computer for the project are in my cube, so they hang out there; the drive is tedious; and with 100+ degree heat on some days, I can't fathom walking the few steps from my front door, to the car, stepping inside of a 120 degree car, driving 3/4 of the way in miserable heat (waiting for the AC to cool down), and walking from my car and into the building. It gives me anxiety just thinking about it. I'm constantly hot. At my baby shower last Sunday, I was the ONLY one that was sweating and even got underboob AND underbelly sweat stains on my beautiful black maternity dress.
Nacho's head is constantly rubbing against my cervix. It is THE weirdest feeling in the world. Do you all remember 7th or 8th grade physical science when everyone came to the center of the room, formed a circle, held hands, and someone touched a spark or something that caused the electrical current to go through each person? Or has anyone accidentally touched the exposed wires behind an outlet? It's the same exact feeling, except it's somewhere deep inside of your privates area. It's incredibly disconcerting when it happens: I have to pick up the lower part of my belly and try to shift Nacho as I'm walking. I can just imagine him shaking his head "no" as he rubs it against my cervix. Kinda funny but not.
Sleeping is an issue. I tried sleeping without monster pillow one night so that I could spoon Billy or he could spoon me (it's seriously like we sleep in separate beds). It lasted for about 5 minutes and then I became uncomfortable and longed for the enveloping cocoon of the monster pillow. Regardless, even with monster pillow, I'm not completely comfortable: I have to have our fan at the highest level blowing right on me and sometimes, I even kick off the flimsy little sheet I try to cover myself with. I even have this tiny wedge-shaped pillow that Christy gave me that I stick underneath the side of my belly for extra support.
I swear to God I'm growing sideburns.
I have a birthmark that has been hidden inside of my belly button my whole life that has just been exposed.
My feet are slightly longer. Someone had told me that their feet had grown during pregnancy, but I definitely did not think mine would grow. Now, they barely fit into my favorite Toms shoes.
This isn't really a bodily function, but I thought it would be interesting to share for those of you who are pregnant or thinking about becoming pregnant. Some books I've been reading have said that it may be a good idea (talk to your midwife or doctor first) to do a "perineal massage" in order to get your vaginal and perineal tissues ready for a vaginal birth (others use a device, available only in Europe or Canada, that you insert into your vagina and it comes in different sizes, that helps to "stretch" you out).
So, I asked Billy to help me with the perineal massage. I gave him the instructions (insert two well-lubricated (with oil) fingers into my vagina and gently press down and move from side-to-side in a U shape). We got started. After about 45 seconds of this "massage," I was growing uncomfortable and Billy was growing uncomfortable.
It totally desexualized the whole area for us and I did not feel comfortable with that.
So, I decided to give it a shot myself. Trying to insert two thumbs down there and maneuver around a basketball-sized belly is no easy feat. I finally got situated and started the "massage." I tried to relax my pelvic floor muscles and imagined them spreading the way they would when I'm giving birth. Oh. My. God. It was painful. Not excruciating, but the type of pain you do NOT want to associate with your privates. But I'm going to keep on trying because the pain of getting yourself ready for a vaginal birth is probably not as bad as the pain you get from tearing or an episiotomy (stitches, burning when you urinate, fear of ripping the wound open again if you have a bowel movement)...
Despite all of my discomfort throughout this entire pregnancy, I can't help but to feel excited and anxious to see what Billy and I have created. I can't wait to see what Nacho looks like and if he looks more like me or Bill. I've finally gotten past the point of worrying about the birth and have gotten to the point where I fantasize about the moment I first lay eyes on him (or her). Next, I have to start focusing on "reality setting in" and how it's going to be the first few days after we have Nacho.
Jeez. I'll think about it later. I'm going to take a nap...
No comments:
Post a Comment