I need a staycation...

So, we've been away from home for 27 days now.  And I'm getting particularly antsy to go back.  I've never been the one to WANT to come home from a vacation.  Especially back to searing 90 degree heat in the desert.  But you know what?  For the first time in the history of ever, I can't wait to go home to Salt Lake City.  This "babymoon" is over.

To illustrate my discontent, I am up at 7 in the morning here in Copenhagen and the day is another dark and dreary one.  I came out into the living room at around 5:30am (by the way, it gets dark at about 11pm and light at around 4am) and tried to sleep on the couch, which is 10 times more comfortable than the bed I'm sleeping in.

Throw a thin sheet over this and maybe then you can imagine how uncomfortable our bed here is.

I'm so excited to go home to this:

Our bed in our old apartment.  Billy painted the design on the wall...it's sort of like a headboard because we're too cheap to get one.

Billy and I haven't been eating out much.  Copenhagen is dreadfully expensive.  Billy and I went to what was listed as a "budget" restaurant, and ended up paying 40 bucks for 2 appetizers and a glass of apple cider.  Not shitting you.  We paid, left, and ended up buying some falafel at a shop near our apartment.  

Typical Danish fare.

I'm so excited to come home to this:

Starts June 7th at Pioneer Park...can't wait!

I've never been more excited to eat vegetables in my life.  We've been subsisting on pre-made meals, pasta, cereal, and nutella.

And, I never thought I'd say it, but I'm excited to come back to downtown SLC.

But most importantly, I'm excited to be back in my own surroundings, surrounded by my own things, my own food, and familiar, friendly faces.  I feel like such a douche complaining about this trip, but aside from the fact that I've been able to spend lots of time with Billy, it's been such crap.  It has, thankfully, made me realize that being at home, the old blue house by the Capitol that Billy and I have lovingly turned into our little home, is one of the most important things to me.  Having moved around so much in my life and having spent no more than 3-4 years in any one place for the past 17 years has made it difficult for me to call anyplace "home."  But now that I have one, I feel that I never want to leave it.  

Finally, I'm super excited to go back to work (crazy, I know) AND I'm more than excited to see the other two loves of my life:

Plans for this summer are:

1. Figure out the sleeping arrangement for the baby
2. Buy all the baby stuff before it gets too hot
3. Get a kiddie pool for me to lounge in
4. Get my SAS base programmer certification (Nerd alert) before Nacho's born
5. Learn how to make jams and how to can all the fruit and veggies I'll be getting from my CSA
6. Hire a doula
7. Go out to dinner with friends, because God knows it'll be a long time before I have the energy to do it again
8. Get a pedicure before I give birth (I don't want the focus to be on my nasty, overgrown toenails while I give birth)
9. Cut 10 inches off my hair
10. Sleep whenever I want

Beer gut bellybuttons

According to Wikipedia, all mammals have a bellybutton.   That's right, rats, dogs, even dolphins have belly buttons!  I don't know why it's so surprising; I guess I consider belly buttons as a human oddity.  A lot of people think that belly buttons are the spot where the fetus was attached to the mother.  In all actuality, the belly button is the feeding tube where your umbilical cord was attached to the placenta.  It is basically a scar that occurs when the umbilical cord (stump) falls off and everyone scars differently.

I used to have a very deep innie.  Like maybe as deep as 1/3 of my pinky when I would poke it all the way through.  Outies, which are rarer than innies, are made when there is too much extra skin leftover from the umbilical cord.  For years, I thought that I had a "Colombian" belly button, the result of my mother's OB/GYN Colombian medical training and his clamping of my umbilical cord.  I always thought American belly buttons looked different from mine.

I'm 30 weeks today and feel confident that the entirety of my belly button will never pop out, although a good portion of it that's never seen the light of day has been exposed and I'll tell you what, my inner belly button skin is as soft as a baby's bottom!

I could totally be a stand in for this guy if they ever need it.

The Love Drug

A few years ago, if someone would have said "oxytocin" to me in conversation, I would have immediately conjured up these faces:

Jack Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne's son

Lindsey Lohan

Nicole Richie

All of these people were scandalously using oxycontin (which, in conversations, I'd confuse for oxytocin).  For those of you who are as clueless as I was, oxycontin is a synthetic opioid used for relief of pain.  It is used by many as a recreational drug and has caused the deaths of more than a few young users.  Oxytocin, on the other hand, is a hormone that mammals make in their brains and has roles in orgasm, sexual activity, birth, breastfeeding, and pair bonding.  That's why it's called the hormone of love.

 

 Oxtyocin at work here...

And here.

Sweet, right?

I'm currently reading a book by Dr. Sarah Buckley called Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering.  I've been reading a lot while on vacation about labor, birthing, green living, and raising kids in a nurturing, supportive way.  I'm a huge proponent of natural labor and have been liking more and more the wonderful views of attachment parenting (more on that a bit later).  The chapter I'm currently reading is called "Undisturbed Birth" and focuses on the advantages of having an unmedicated, uninterrupted birthing experience.  It was in this chapter that I started reading about the evolutionary connection between mother and baby and how hormones have helped to ensure the survival of our species.  One hormone in particular is this beauty:

  Oxytocin

Oxytocin is released in waves during labor (it's the hormone that actually makes your uterus start to contract).  The baby also releases a small amount of oxytocin during labor, signaling to your uterus that s/he is ready to go.  Immediately after birth, the cascade of hormones continues, engulfing you in the "lovey dovey" feelings you get, which are enhanced by skin-to-skin and eye-to-eye contact.  Breastfeeding also releases oxytocin to your bloodstream, which allows you to fall ever more in love with your baby.  Oxytocin exposure of the baby during labor also stimulates the olfactory nerves.  This makes the baby really like the smell of amniotic fluid (don't know why...I always felt that amniotic fluid would smell like pee) and their mother's breast, especially the nipple, which helps them locate it even with their eyes closed.  Awesome, right?  I mean, there's some guys out there that can only barely do better.

Here's a confession: it's been really difficult for me to be completely happy throughout this pregnancy; I am NOT the Pregnant Goddess that every woman wants to be who swears that being pregnant is the best thing that's ever happened to her.  The truth is, I really hate lots of things about being pregnant, like not being able to sleep on my stomach.  Sleeping on my side really hurts my hips and, having not seen my chiropractor in ages, my back is starting to hurt again.  All of this puts me in a dreadful mood and I have to consciously force myself to smile and remember that I CHOSE TO DO THIS and that it will all be over soon.  Even Little Nacho's rolls, kicks, and punches are becoming less and less exciting to me.  

However, as I read that chapter, I realized how amazing is the bond that I have with my baby.  I'm excited to have that rush of the love hormone to catapult me into the throes of infatuation as it did when I fell in love with Billy.  I'm excited to love someone so purely and so completely; it's only happened once in my life and I'm looking forward to it happening again with Nacho.  

I love you, little guy.  I'm sorry that sometimes I push you back when you kick and I sometimes blame you because I can't even see my own in-betweens and when I can't bend down to shave my legs and have to have your dad do it for me.  I'm really excited to see you, smell you, and hold you and you're worth every night of shitty sleep and every ache in my back that I've had so far.  I'm putting this in writing so that you know it's true even if I take it all back during labor.

The peener debate

Everyone, minus like 2 or 3 people, thinks that I'm going to have a boy.  I refer to Nacho as a "he" and Susanne from school keeps telling me it will be a boy because my stomach is more of a "basketball" than a "watermelon."  I bet you're wondering if there's any truth behind any of these old wives tales. Well, it's your lucky day because I just researched them for you (yes, I'm on vacation in Europe, but it's cold and damp and rainy here and this is a lot better than going out in winter gear).


Old Wive's Tale (OWT): If you're carrying high, it will be a girl.  If you're carrying low, it will be a boy.
Truth: Sex has nothing to do with it; it all has to do with muscle and uterine tone as well as the general position of the baby.

This lady is carrying SUPER low.  I've never seen anything like it.  It looks like an oversized breast!

Does it look like I'm carrying high or low?

OWT: A female fetus's heartbeat is faster than a male fetus's heartbeat.

Truth: Fetal heartbeats are pretty much the same until the baby is born; then, the girl's heartbeat will be considerably faster.

Fact: Nacho's heartbeat has hovered around 140-160 bpm.

OWT: If your husband puts on weight during the pregnancy, then it's a girl.  If he doesn't, it's a boy.  

Truth: No science supports this.

Fact: Scarlett's uncle Angel gained 60 lbs when her aunt was pregnant with their first boy.  Billy, scared that this would happen to him, has worked out pretty much daily and hasn't gained anything, the rat bastard.

(hispanic) OWT: If you have lots of heartburn, your baby will be born with lots of hair.

Truth: May be based on the fact that Hispanic babies are usually really hairy and most women get heartburn during pregnancy.

Fact: I've had hardly any heartburn during the pregnancy (thanks, chiropractor!)

OWT: If you have acne while pregnant, it's a girl.

Truth: Babies may be born with some acne due to the mother's hormones, but not the other way around.

Fact: I had a full face of zits for like 4 months and now they're gone.

According to this website:

http://www.amazingpregnancy.com/oldwivestales/

I'll be having a girl.

Ok, so the point of this was to let you know that I think we're having a boy and with that realization comes the decision about whether or not to circumcise little Nacho when he's born.  

A 1990 article in the New England Journal of Medicine claims that routine infant circumcision earns the health insurance system an estimated $140 to $160 million annually. The cutting procedure has become an automatic response after birth, the article said, and is routinely practiced in thousands of hospitals around the country.

A bit of history (from, of course, Wikipedia): despite modern medicine's rejection of what in America is a century-old tradition, millions of parents continue to circumcise their newborn sons. For many, this decision stems from tradition, particularly among Jewish parents whose faith guides the father to circumcise his eight day-old son as a way of forming a covenant with God. For others, the decision is based on the desire for cosmetic conformity, and belief that a cut penis is a cleaner and healthier penis.  Due to the unsanitary conditions of WWII, uncircumcised soldiers often developed serious infections around the foreskin. More often than not, American soldiers sent into battle uncircumcised returned home without foreskins. New recruits were also expected to be circumcised.

Many people believe that doctors routinely prescribe circumcisions (they do not), that circumcisions are painless (they are not), that boys with circumcised penises are "cleaner" (men have had foreskins for millions of years.  I'm sure that cleaning a penis with foreskin is not that difficult to do), and that all boys are circumcised (80% of the male population in the world isn't circumcised; 65% of the US population is compared to about 1% of the British population).  

Finally, foreskins are there for a reason.  They provide protection, an immunological defense barrier, erogenous sensitivity, coverage during an erection, self-stimulating sexual functions, and it has (the very important) sexual function during intercourse.  Furthermore, approximately 230 baby boys die per year from complications due to circumcisions.  Scary.  

So why would I want to deny little Nacho all of the joys of having a foreskin if there aren't any religious or traditional reasons for circumcision?  

 Most of the stuff here I read on www.drmomma.org.

Favorite pics from the photo shoot

So, Evelyn, my lovely photographer, posted some new pics of me and Billiam on her blog (http://evelyneslavaphotography.blogspot.com/2010/05/scarlett-william.html)

She is so freaking talented, I can't get over it.  I'm sure I'm going to post more once I get the rest of the pictures from her because, you know, I LOVE looking at myself. 

Here are a few of my favorites:

As Annie commented on the post where I showed you guys the first picture, it totally looks like I am the teacher who fooled around with her student.  Good thing Bill's going to get crow's feet sooner than me, although I am sprouting more gray hair than he is at this point. 

So, I know that these professional pictures can be super cheesy, but what kid doesn't love making fun of their parents in the old, cheesy photographs?  I love looking at my mom and dad's wedding pictures (they got married in 1978 in NYC and my dad literally wore a salmon-colored wedding tuxedo.  I mean, the whole thing was salmon-colored: shirt, shoes, pants, cumberbund...It was hideous).

You HAVE to go to this site...

Ok, I haven't been keeping up on the posts, and I have a great excuse.  I'm in Vilnius, Lithuania right now at an internet cafe and was reading my friend Mandy's deliciously funny blog (www.omgmom.blogspot.com) and spotted this jewel in one of her comments:

http://shitmykidsruined.com

I peed myself in this vodka-smelling, stuffy, KGB-era internet cafe.  Not kidding.

I promise to post more when we get back to Copenhagen, but this was just too good to wait for later...

Scarlett's Growing Gut Timeline

Preconception: This is when I was working out pretty much everyday.

Yay!  Definitely 2 lines on our first test!

 6 weeks and bloat

8 weeks and LOTS of bloat

12 weeks

16 weeks

20 weeks

24 weeks

28 weeks

 32 weeks

36 weeks

By the way, has anybody EVER thought about fetuses' comfort factor when they're just hanging out, face down, all scrunched up?  I wonder if they find me as uncomfortable as I find them :)

P.S. My little brother John and I used to geek out every week while growing up by watching Star Trek: TNG (The Next Generation).  The guy you see on my TV is Geordi La Forge.  I wish I would've caught Capt. Picard on the TV instead...he was my favorite ("Well done, nomba won!")